This is a very old incident narrated below that happened years back when I was pursuing my MBA. Every year our university hosted an interstate/ inter university sports tournament for basketball, football, volleyball and some more games. Being a volleyball player I never missed the girls team from Kerala..ohh they were such a team and what game. It was a delight watching them play.. or rather I should say fight it out in the court.

During my final year our MBA boys were included in the university football team and had qualified for the semis. Now this was a game which I thought, I should definitely watch to support the boys. I like this game of football; except for the kicks that are between players…oouch.. the kick on the shin hurts…

All excited I dragged my roomie too for the match and we reached the playground late by 15 minutes. Now that was because I gladly slept in the afternoon and forgot the alarm. The match had begun at 4 pm sharp and all I could see was a huge swarm of boys from various engineering streams and a group of girls in one corner of the seating area. Our boys were playing against a team from Kerala and football in Kerala is a mad sport.

Squeezing myself through the crowd i managed to fins some place and sat down. I asked one of the boys next to me what the score was… and he was definitely from the same institute/ university as the defending team. With a smile, he replied; they are leading us 3-0. And I said, REALLY. Now my excitement grew knowing that our boys were leading.

I thought he would have been discouraged. I looked at him and asked, “enda veshamikkane..kali innuyum undalo” (ohh.. he was a malayalee, so my conversation was in Malayalam. So what I meant is, “are you disappointed/ discouraged, the game is still remaining”) “Veshamam” (disappointed) the boy replied with a puzzled look. “Njan endinu veshamikkande.. iduvere referee final whistle adichitillelo? Ennikkya orappa njangal goal adikkum.” (Why should I be disappointed when the referee has not blown the final whistle? I have confidence in the team; we will definitely overcome and hit goals.) I thought otherwise!!

Truly, the match ended 5-4 in favor of the boy’s team. After the match, he waved at me with a beautiful glee and left. I was amazed, mouth wide open. I admired his confidence; such beautiful and immense faith. As I got back to the hostel that night, his question kept coming back to me….. Why should I be discouraged when the referee has not blown the final whistle?

Today this question strikes me again. Why am I getting discouraged? It’s not the end?

At work I’ve been having a tough time since last 5 months. I am a recruiter and seriously I’ve been man-hunting/ headhunting for some of the most niche and complex profiles for some of the major pharma brands. And trust me, it’s tough, recruitment at times can simply suck life out of you. The situation is such that I get the so called most suitable/ best candidate, he goes for an interview at the client’s office and…. Then the most dreaded thing happens.. the position is placed on hold..!! Or even best they find someone internally… seriously what’ve you been doing while I was wasting my efforts for you..? Okay now that’s company discretion.. don’t have much to argue on that point. Phew, my efforts gone for a toss and then the saga continues.. client says we’ll let you know, we keep waiting to hear by dropping in reminders every fortnight, candidate keeps following up and we don’t lie but rather tell them the truth because it’s very important to be transparent in any profession. And this is the case with 8-10 odd good profiles with high earning potential (I could’ve earned a good incentive).

Totally disheartened with the trend that’s going on since 5 months, I decided to quit working on niche profiles and rather take up small profiles with a shorter TAT (Turnaround time) and sure shot closures, but then I realized that would be ok for a short while.. then I would again crave for senior profiles, rather I would need to wait for such profiles to work on. Client hasn’t yet pulled back the position. I still have the data plus my candidates are ever ready.. then why be discouraged? Let’s wait for time to strike. And if lady luck is on my side.. Bingo I should definitely strike a huge jackpot.

So, I am not giving up. I am not going to blow the whistle myself.

Life is like a game….

Why be discouraged, when there is still life. Why be discouraged when your final whistle has not sounded.

The truth is that many people blow the final whistle themselves…. But as long as there is life, nothing is impossible and it is never too late for you. 

And… Half time is not full time…..

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Admire

Her past was like shattered mirror, that had innumerable cracks; but it stood there intact displaying a strong woman that she was, broken at heart and clear at mind; who was otherwise vulnerable. 

I admired her for the way she carried herself – calm, serene, bold, elegant and beautiful in a way and in the simplest of attires that I fell head over heels for her much to her obliviousness.

I encountered ‘n’ number of situations just to look at her, watch her talk, teach, laugh, read and smile, but never did I imagine what lay behind the smile much to the dismay of understanding what lay in store.

I one day mustered the courage, walked up to her and spoke of what was in my heart and she walked away in much shock only to be drawn back into a cocoon, scared and ready to crumble as if love were a nightmare for her.

Unable to understand the reason for her absence, I learnt of her bitter shaken past to realize that I had stepped into a zone that she had recoiled away from, as the smile she carried and cheerfulness was only to put back her past, but never had the courage to let anyone pass through those doors closed to her aching heart.

Abilene Paradox

What is The Abilene Paradox ?
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Context : Corporate World.
On a birthday, a family decided to go out for dinner. Husband asked wife, where to go?
Thinking that he likes Gujarati food, she said: “Let’s go to Agashiye – The Terrace Restaurant!”
His son and daughter nodded in agreement. 
On their return, the son remarked, “I wish Papa had taken us to Mainland China, as he loves Chinese food. Or at least to Shere-E-Punjab for the wonderful tandoori chicken.”added his daughter. 
“Yes, I too would have loved to go Mainland China!”,  the man said. 
Wife looked surprised: “But didn’t we all unanimously agree to go to Agashiye,” she asked.
He said sheepishly “I didn’t want you to feel bad.” And both children nodded in agreement. 
Here were four people who of their own volition would not have gone to ‘Agashiye – The Terrace Restaurant, but collectively agreed to go there. 
This also happens in the corporate world. This is the Abilene Paradox. 
Prof Jerry Harvey calls it ‘The Inability to Manage Agreement.’
The Abilene Paradox occurs when a group of people collectively decide on a course of action that is contrary to the preferences of most of the individuals in the group.
Prof Harvey states in his paper ‘The Abilene Paradox’, “Organizations frequently take actions in contradiction to what they really want to do and therefore defeat the very purpose they are trying to achieve”.
This is the inability to manage agreement.
He adds, “The inability to manage agreement, not the inability to manage conflict, is the essential symptom that defines organizations caught in the web of the Abilene Paradox.”
In the corporate world, when the top boss throws an idea, the group immediately agrees. 
This is because everyone in the group thinks he would look stupid if he disagrees. 
Standing out as a lone voice is very embarrassing. This leads the group to decide on ‘yes’ when ‘no’ would have been the personal (and the correct) response of the majority. 
If the top boss always disagrees with rest of group, then the organization will never have group giving honest opinion. 
I love this from Ayn Rand, “If we have an endless number of individual minds who are weak, meek, submissive and impotent. Who renounce their creative supremacy for the sake of the “whole” and accept humbly the ‘whole’s verdict’, we don’t get a collective super-brain. We get only the weak, meek, submissive and impotent collection of minds.”

When to be Silent..??

Be silent – in the heat of anger

Be silent – when you don’t have all the facts

Be silent – when you haven’t verified the facts

Be silent – if your words will offend a weaker person

Be silent – when it is time to listen

Be silent – when you are tempted to make light of holy things

Be silent – when you are tempted to joke about sin

Be silent – if you would be ashamed of your word later

Be silent – if your words would convey the wrong impression

Be silent – if the issue is none of your business

Be silent – when you are tempted to tell an outright lie

Be silent – if your words will damage someone else’s reputation

Be silent – if your words will damage a friendship

Be silent – when you are feeling critical

Be silent – if you can’t say it without screaming

Be silent – if your words will be a poor reflection of your friends and family

Be silent – if you may have to eat your words later

Be silent – if you have already said it more than one time

Be silent – when you are tempted to flatter a wicked person

Be silent – when you are supposed to be working instead

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Trust your Senses.. Part 2

I had put up a post on similar lines a few months ago. Compiled a few more as and when something struck my mind or came across it. 

The first post is  here. Hope you all like this one as well.

  1. Everyone have Two Eyes … But No one has the Same View
  2. The most important quality of successful people is their willingness to change
  3. Human beings are very strange. They have ego of their knowledge but, they don’t have knowledge of their ego.
  4. People who judge do not matter. People who matter do not judge.
  5. Alphabet “O” stands for Opportunity which is absent in “Yesterday”, Available only once in “Today” And thrice in “Tomorrow”.
  6. Pain is Unavoidable but, Suffering is Optional..
  7. Never ignore a person who loves and cares for you, because one day you may realize that you’ve lost the moon while counting the stars.
  8. Sometimes life doesn’t give you something you want, not because you don’t deserve it, but because you deserve more.
  9. If the Road is Beautiful then worry About the Destination, but if the Destination is Beautiful, Then Don’t Worry About The Road!
  10. Only messages are not life, but… Our life should be a message to others.

 

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A.A.A.D.D (Just for laughs)

This was forwarded by a close friend and I must say, after a long and hectic day at work, reading this was a relief. 

I don’t now if such a disorder exists in real life or no. Though there are a few instances which we all have faced at some point of time.  Read it all along and enjoy this.

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Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. 😜
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. 
As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. 
I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full. 
So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think,
since I’m going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my cheque book off the table,
and see that there is only one cheque left.
My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Coke I’d been drinking. 
I’m going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Coke aside
so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.
The Coke is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye–they need water.
I put the Coke on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I’ve been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I’m going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I’ll be looking for the remote,
but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I’ll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do. 
At the end of the day:
the car isn’t washed
the bills aren’t paid
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
the flowers don’t have enough water,
there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,
I can’t find the remote,
I can’t find my glasses,
and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
and I’m really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem,
and I’ll try to get some help for it,
but first I’ll check my e-mail….
Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don’t remember who I’ve sent it to.
Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!!
😊